Friday, 15 February 2013

The Twists and Turns

This week has had several twists and turns but within the twists of the harder moments, there have been some great turns. You know, those teachable moments, the pivotal moments of triumph and change. These moments are those I am thankful for but wish we hadn't had to have the twist at the time as the twists have a sting in the tail, don't they. Anyway, here I am, Fridayevening after a busy but fun day out and about and writing this for my 3 reasons the be cheerful and also linking in with the Weekly Adoption Shout Out too. It has been an eventful week.

First up, I am really thankful for the NHS - topical, I know, but they really helped us this week with our unexpected visit to A and E with PJ. I was beginning to think that I had survived our first 6 months together without a trip to A and E.... when....we had been to a party the day before and she had been given a bracelet in her party bag - and yes, she broke the bracelet. I quickly gathered up the beads and we put them in a pocket and then she uttered the words every parent dreads: Mummy I have a bead stuck up my nose! It had happened so fast, that at first I couldn't quite believe it as we had only just gathered up the beads. She was quite insistant that she had one up her nose, so I shone a torch up her nose and sure enough there was a bright blue bead shining right back at me! A and E was busy but we were seen really quite quickly and the Doctor got it out! PJ was very impressed and I was pleased that PJ was so brave and cooperative at the time too. The twist in the tail seemed to come later at bedtime, when she has taken a while to settle again to go to sleep for a few nights and hasn't wanted me to leave her. All calm again now but it has taken it's toll. I guess at some level, there must be the memories of past trauma that this unexpected hospital trip has triggered for her. Very thankful she is once again settling at nights really calmly.

Secondly, I am really thankful for PJ's buggy. It proved great when she seemed to complain and have a tantrum about everything and everything all the way round town and back home again. It started with not wanting to wear gloves and then quickly became the I don't want to get milk, which became I don't want the milk to be in my buggy, which then became I want a treat. A treat? I thought. No way. You have screamed all the way around town much to my complete embarassment and shame. I was so glad that she was in the buggy, as it made the experience more manageable for me. I had had lots of sympathy along the way from passers by who had been in our wake and heard the protests and stamping of wellies in the buggy. they had said: oh I get that too, or we have a grandson who does that or i have been there and done that. With all 3 children. It seemed little comfort to either of us, at the time. as for the treat, it would be a no. I determindly pushed the buggy out of the store and she began screaming about not wanting to leave the shop and then saying she didnt want to go home, we couldn't go home, she wouldn't let me go home. On arriving home she said she didn't like our home or want to live in our home anymore. She said she wanted to go back. I gave her a hug and then she calmed down. A few minutes later she was sat on the sofa and said she loved me all the time. I was so glad that she was in the buggy, as it made it all so much easier. I am also very thankful that I don't have these moments all day and everyday.

Thirdly is being thankful for PJ being more settled once again at Nursery. After she was poorly a few weeks ago and she was off Nursery, it has been hard work getting her settled back into Nursery again. Tears and Tantrums and Distress and Separation Anxiety all rolled into one. It has been a blip. One the one hand, is the fabulous opportunity for positive attachments to be made. the bonding, like a mother with a newborn, cuddling on the sofa time. It has been lovely having the nurturing time with her sat on my lap whilst we watch TV and DVDs but then the challenge of leaving her again at Nursery has been a hard one. This is the other hand. The twist in the turn. The separation anxiety that kicks in again, rearing it's ugly hea, that will calm with reassurance and the provenness that I will not abandon her. I will come back. I will come back soon. this is what Mummy's do. The I leave for a little while and then I come back for you, stuff. The turning point came again. It was much easier going there yesterday. A few protests but no tears. Hurrah. The tail has lost it's sting.

Last chance to add your valentines post to the All About Love blog hop!

10 comments:

  1. Great read, and it is good to hear that things are getting settled. The bead up the nose is fascinating. Takes only one minute, and they are eating the cat biscuits and all sorts!

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    1. ha x thankyou. the bead went up in nanoseconds I think, rather like cat biscuits can be consumed.

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  2. Oh now, how horrible poor girl. It is true that NHS does get alot of stick and many times deservedly so, but there are times when the come up trumps and its times that we have to praise them too. Hurrah for the buggies that help us instill some calm and control when we are out and about.

    I hope you have a better week next week.

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    1. thank you the NHS really were fabulous

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  3. Glad the sting has disappeared a little from what sounds like a difficult time.
    Hurrah indeed for buggies - I still use mine for Dollop and it is vital sometimes!

    Thanks for linking up to the Weekly Adoption Shout Out x

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    1. thanks Vicki - my nuggy is the best pre arrival investment I made and I am really loving reading and connecting with other adopters through your WASO thankyou

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  4. It seems quite common for children to get things stuck up their noses I know of quite a few incidents luckily not with my own. However a hospital trip for what ever reason can be upsetting and unsettling all round. I like the fact that you have managed to put a positive spin on all these events, it's a good thing to do especially with adopted children.

    Thanks for linking up with the weekly adoption shout out.

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    1. thanks - it is always good to look for the positive spin when it happens for us both.

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  5. What a week! My visit to the Mads the other year was interrupted by a call to say Jacob had Lego stuck up his nose!
    Thanks for joining in x

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    1. thank you - how funny that your little one has done something similar - I am hearing a lot of similar stories now - thanks for hosting R2BC Thursday

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